Here we are in the Tulsa International Airport again. Goodbyes have been said. Tears have been shed. Overpriced drink has been purchased.
And now the waiting continues.
This past year was a long season of waiting in limbo. Will I be able to go back out on the World Race? Should I pursue something else? Where is God leading me?
When it was finally confirmed in August that I would be able to continue on the World Race in January, I prayed and sought counsel regarding how long I should stay on the international mission field. I felt peaceful, though unsure why, about committing to only the first 5 months. To be completely honest, I was a little frustrated with God for not letting me go back for the whole trip.
Fast forward to late November. Although still confident and peaceful about my decision to continue with the World Race, my emotions and feelings left me in a wreck. I spent the next month wrestling with anxiety, doubt, and, let’s be real, there was a lot of self-pity happening too. Just when I finally felt settled and connected, I was about to rip it all up again.
I asked God, “why?” repeatedly. Why did I feel this pain? Why did He finally give me the community I’ve been seeking for 5+ years only to strip it away so quickly? Why can’t I be with my family during this tough season?
I had become so focused on how I felt and what I wanted that I lost sight of the real reason for this trip. I didn’t get a clear answer to my questions, but in His lovingkindness, He did give me a little kick in the right direction.
God called me to serve and glorify Him by sharing His love with the world. You didn’t sacrifice your finances, time, and prayers just so that I can be comfortable at home.
It’s called a mission trip for a reason.
I am on a mission. I have a God-assigned purpose.
While I’m still wrestling somewhere between jittery excitement and an aching heart, I go.
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I also want to take a moment to thank each of you for allowing me to launch fully funded and covered in your prayers. I’m thrilled to continue sharing stories of God’s faithfulness over the next 5 months (funny how He knew I didn’t need to be gone the whole 11 months!). I love reading all of your comments, so keep them coming! Please feel free to reach out with any questions, updates on your life, or even requests for pictures.
Goodbye for now!
So much love,
Victoria 🙂
*Thanks to one of my favorite people in the world for this super cool shirt. She knows me well!
