As I sit here in a room full of unpacked boxes, mile-long to-do lists, and 572 open tabs in my brain, life feels just a little chaotic. Okay, it’s been closer to insane lately. I’m sure you can relate!
If you’ve met me, even briefly, you probably already figured out that I like to be prepared for anything and keep everything organized to an extreme that borders on OCD. (My friend gave me the nickname “Redneck Mary Poppins” if that tells you anything.) There’s actually a word for it.
Ataxophobia: Fear and avoidance of disorganization or untidiness.
As you can probably imagine, this moment doesn’t feel very peaceful to me. In fact, I’m fighting the urge to at least clear off this desk right now. However, I’m also learning something in the midst of the chaos.
Life still goes on.
There is no pause button so I can put everything in order before it plays again. There is no restart or second try. This is my life and it’s happening whether I want it to or not.
Thankfully, I have a couple of options for how I can respond…
1. I can choose to give into ataxophobia. I can live life in a state of constant stress. I can hustle and strive and go, go, go. I can full-on Redneck Mary Poppins it until I drop.
2. I can choose to rest in the peace of knowing simply being God’s daughter is enough. I can sit in the middle of chaos and find stillness. I can let go of the need to do. I can even leave boxes unpacked and dirty dishes in the sink! :0
Unless I learn how to magically snap my fingers to clean everything, I think I’ll keep practicing the second option. As claustrophobic as it makes me feel, it’s helpful to remember this mess is temporary. I will get it cleaned up and organized eventually, but in the right priority.
For now, I’m going to enjoy time with my Papa. I’m going to watch the wind blow through His beautiful creation outside my window. I’m going to silence the voices telling me all the things I should be doing, and instead, listen for His voice.
I’m going to find stillness in the midst of chaos.
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
