I'm currently sitting in an airport in NY, waiting to board a plane heading home to OK.

I just said goodbye to squadmates who became family in our short time together.  

I have no idea how to feel or what to think. The closest thing I can compare it to is a slamming halt at the end of a roller coaster ride. You know that feeling when the momentum drags your stomach a few feet in front of the restraining safety belt, makes your heart race uncontrollably, and whiplashes your head back? You want to puke and laugh and maybe even cry all at the same time. Yeah, that's about right. 

This I do know: God is good. I just spent two and a half months watching Him work faithfully in unexpected ways. 

I first said "yes" to His call when I was 5 years old. I've said it over and over again in the years since. The World Race was one of my biggest yes's. As I described in my last post, He responded faithfully to every yes I gave Him during the last 2.5 months of serving. When I wrote that post, I was thrilled to continue saying yes!

I was thrilled until we got the unexpected email telling us we were being pulled from the field because of the Coronavirus. That yes was honestly one of the hardest so far. Why did God call me into the nations only to bring me home so soon? 

I don't understand it. My heart is breaking. 

Yet, I am peaceful.

Maybe America is a bonus country on our route... Our hope is to relaunch as soon as the world calms down. Even if my squad doesn't return to the field, I know we are all exactly where we are supposed to be. He is leading us here in our home country just as much as He did across the world. 

As an extra safety measure, I'll be doing a home quarantine for the next 2 weeks. If you want to chat, please feel free to call or text or MarcoPolo me! I also plan on using that time to go through the (literally) thousands of pictures/videos/stories I have from my travels. Between the tears, I'll find my favorites memories to share with you soon. 

Thank you for continuing with me in this journey. All the kind words of welcome home and encouragement have blessed my hurting heart. I hope to have a more definite answer to what the future will look like soon, but until then, wherever and whenever I end up, I will continue to live with His INEXTINGUISHABLE fire in my soul.

Here now
Still my heart
Let Your voice be all I hear now
Here now
Fix my eyes on things that I can't see now
Spirit breathe like the wind come have Your way
'Cause I know You're in this place

Here Now (Madness) by Hillsong UNITED