How the World Race Ruined…Changed My Life

Dear World Race,

Thank you for ruining my life. I signed up in January of 2019, eyes bright with the excitement of an adventure. I had high hopes for the 11-month trip. I’d travel the world, share the Good News, and go home to continue with my life plan. What a cute idea all tied up in a bow!

You, World Race, tossed that plan out the window before I had even finished training camp in October later that year. My eyes were opened and there was no going back. You awoke something in my faith that had been asleep. It roared to life and would not be silenced.

Fast forward five months. It’s 7am on March 15, 2020. I’m in India reading an email that says my squad is being sent home due to COVID. A lot flashed through my mind in the next few moments. Shock. Disbelief. Sadness. Yet, above all the other emotions, I remember feeling intense peace. A supernatural peace that didn’t make sense considering the circumstances.

I shouldn’t have been surprised by it. Hadn’t I seen God work in supernatural ways already as we circled the globe for the past 3 months? My squad had battled demons, experienced the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and heard the voice of the Lord directing, comforting, and guiding us. My faith had grown exponentially. The belief I had in God from childhood was developing into an intimate relationship with Him.

And then I was home. Back in America. Back to normal life now, right?

I thought I could combine what I had learned and experienced on the Race with how I used to live and come up with something normal. Though I tried my hardest, I was wrong.

World Race, you made normal impossible.

Normal is easy… Sleepy… Tidy…

Life with God? Now that is messy… Unpredictable… And more alive than I ever imagined…

That’s what you opened my eyes to – life with God. Not just a church-going-on-Sunday and an-occasional-mission-trip kind of life with God. No. The life you introduced me to requires far more. Everything, in fact.

I couldn’t go back to normal life. At home, with friends, and even sometimes in church, I felt out of place. If I tried to fit in by joining in the normal fun, something felt suppressed within me. If I tried to share the fire inside, I was often met with glazed eyes. Honestly, there were days I longed to return to an apathetic lifestyle just to feel normal again.

You wouldn’t let me. God confirmed I was to continue journeying with you. Fine. I committed to 5 months with you in 2020. Just 5 more months AND THEN I would continue with my life plan.

Are you laughing at me yet?

I attended another wet, cold October week of training camp in my tent. I met my new squad. I listened as your worship stirred the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room. My faith warmed as you fanned the flame within me. Your passionate words of truth reminded me why I’m alive.

And still, it was hard leaving home again in January. No longer was I an excited girl ready for an adventure. In the words of my squad-mate, I felt like a soldier being deployed to battle. I was willing but somber. I knew what you were capable of.

I was right to be wary of you.

Less than two months later, God told me to stay for the entirety of your 11 months. You had more to teach me than could be accomplished by May. More normal to strip away…

Here I am in month 11 of my second Race now. You’ve done it over and over again. You’ve pruned, pricked, and pried down to the core of my being. Is anything the same anymore?

I can’t look at people without thinking, “Do they know they have a Father who loves them and longs to have a relationship with them?” Where is their soul headed?

I can’t live as a typical American Christian. Sitting in a pew on Sunday isn’t enough for me. I need to continue this close, alive, intimate relationship with God. I’d spiritually starve without it. I need to see my Father’s face. I need the Holy Spirit’s continual guidance. I need Jesus’ friendship.

I can’t pray, “God save or heal or provide for them!”, and then continue on with my life. Prayer isn’t a cop-out anymore. You told me I have a part to play alongside these prayers.

I can’t sing, “Jesus Loves Me” without the reminders of when He irrevocably convinced me of His unending love for me over and over again. A love I stopped trying to earn and welcomed into the deepest, most hidden parts of my heart. 

That’s not even mentioning how you changed community for me either! Feedback, conflict resolution, vulnerability, sacrificial love… Ay, ay, ay! 

You got me here and there’s no going back. I signed up for 11 months, but you changed the rest of my life.

You wrecked me for ordinary life. For that, I thank you.

Sincerely,
Victoria L. Groves

 

 

P.S. When does World Race round 3 start? 😉